mind over matters

Transition To College

Leaving home to attend college after high school is a time of immense transition and developmental and emotional challenges. It is a conflicting state of being both legally an adult and charged with adult responsibilities and decisions while still clearly needing guidance from parents and adults. Negotiating these ambivalent and, at times, contradictory experiences makes the experience of transitioning into adulthood scary for both young adults and their parents. Alongside developmental transitions and increases in responsibilities and independence, are stresses and pressures of academic, social, leadership, etc. dimensions of the developing self.

Academic Challenges & Pressures

Many young people struggle with the academic independence that college allows. Getting to class on time, managing assignments, choosing classes and knowing when to ask for help all take more initiative than in high school. If a young adult struggles with time management or organization, there are fewer safety nets to catch them and draw attention to the problem–perhaps until these struggles are reflected in grades.

While the challenge of getting into college may still be fresh on their minds, once college begins; there are new sets of academic pressures. The work may be more difficult, expectations are higher and, for those prone to competitiveness, it can seem like they are always surrounded by someone who is working harder or who is better prepared. Students who aspire to competitive careers or graduate schools, as well as first generation college students, may especially experience challenges.

While many of these challenges may feel like the domain of tutors or learning specialists, therapy may also play a critical role in helping students manage the responsibilities of college, accept that they may have certain limitations and therefore, need particular kinds of help, and identify emotional issues that may complicate both their ability to perform to a high standard, as well as manage disappointment if they may fall short.

Building A Social Life

College is not only a time to grow academically but also socially, and all colleges have built-in activities and organizations to help with that. That doesn’t mean all young people feel capable of making sense of this new landscape. Making friends in college is often different than in high school and is often troubling for individuals who find themselves less outgoing, anxious in social settings or identify as having interests outside of the norm.

College students frequently discuss challenges related to making friends in ways that don’t involve alcohol, making friends as a person of color, navigating social situations that demand connecting with strangers (like in the cafeteria) and finding “their people.” We work to create a partnership that takes these challenges on together, trying new strategies, taking increasingly bigger risks and dealing with the disappointments and celebrating the successes that follow. 

Depression And Anxiety

The first year of college is period of time when symptoms of depression or anxiety are likely to emerge or become exacerbated. All of the pressures that we’re discussing here can contribute to these experiences. While perhaps counter-intuitive, the early months of college are a period of coming into one’s own and reflecting on family relationships quite intensely by virtue of being away from home and gaining the perspective that can come from distance. For many young adults, college may fail to meet expectations of academic success, the right fit or a vibrant social or dating life. Perhaps high school was disappointing and college was arrived at with great expectations of making up for that experience.

As with at any moment in life, depression and anxiety can grow and linger and become in various ways debilitating. Getting the right help to make sense of emergent adulthood and the myriad emotional experiences that come at this time of transition can help students make healthy choices about how to maneuver through their academic and social lives.

Alcohol & Substance Use & Abuse

While young adults today are exposed to alcohol and substances in high school or even earlier, most college students find the availability of both alcohol and drugs, as well as the pressure to use and abuse these substances, intense. As much as most parents would prefer their children not indulge at all, many young adults do. I help clients explore options and consequences, better understand the pressures they experience and help them make safe and healthy choices.

If alcohol use accelerates to the point of binge drinking or other kinds of substance abuse, the task of making serious changes in one’s relationships with these substances, including sustained abstinence, can be a more serious task. At the extreme, substance abuse programs, including detox and rehab may be involved, though outpatient treatment–perhaps coordinated with on-campus and community services–may be sufficient. Doing this work,  alongside therapeutic work on issues related to mental health, allows a young person’s relationship with drugs and alcohol to be examined and reformed alongside an understanding of other issues that relate to who they are emotionally, developmentally and academically.

Sexuality and Sexual Orientation

College is a time when many young adults explore their sexuality. While fully mature physically, most college students are still new to sex and sexuality. Creating a space where young adults feel comfortable talking about sex is key. The object isn’t to insist on a particular set of values or practices, but to support young people to understand their bodies and the feelings that accompany sex and attraction, and to make conscious decisions about where they stand. This can include creating a map, of sorts, of their sexual values–a better understanding what they need in order to make decisions about sex to feel safe and have fun with a partner.

Sexual orientation is in focus at this moment in life. If young adults find themselves attracted to the same sex, they may need help making sense of this attraction, talking to their parents and friends about this–when ready–and dealing with the bias that’s inevitably present even on the most progressive campuses. It is important to recognize that suicide rates are higher among LGTBQ individuals and to give these young adults the help they need.

Sex, of course, can come with a number of consequences. While most college students are well versed in options for contraception, the challenges of discussing these choices with a partner and deciding what actions to take if contraception isn’t used or fails.

Sexual Assault

The issue of consent and sexual assault has been front and center recently–not only on college campuses but nationwide.

When it comes to prevention, it’s important to recognize that alcohol is most often a factor in these assaults. Students who are educated and confident in their relationship with alcohol and students who build strong relationships with their peers and organize to look out for one another are two key factors in preventing rape in college.

For victims of sexual assault on college campuses, as under any circumstances, it is important that they be believed and that, in addition to receiving appropriate medical treatment, good mental health care is vital. Too often, victims feel ashamed, are embarrassed and ostracized and fall behind or drop out of college. While a break or change in college may be helpful, treating the trauma and helping a victim regain a sense of safety is multifaceted. It’s also important to note that most sexual assaults on colleges campuses don’t get reported and at times, a victim may not tell anyone or even understand that they have been assaulted. It is only in the context of a trusting environment that young adults can get the support they need to make sense of a recovery from sexual assault.